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The Age Timeline

When I was six, walking along the sunny sidewalk in front of the apartment building, I imagined age like a timeline of numbers where 6 was big and close at hand, 7 was ahead, slightly smaller, and the other years of age drifted ahead of me in black print against a murky beige background, growing smaller in the distance.  I could still see my age of 5 from my last birthday behind me, but it was shrinking, and 4 was smaller still.  My older brothers would always be unfairly older than I was, and my younger sisters would never catch up to me.  All grown ups were the same age: big.

Now I’m big.  I’ve been this way since I was about fifteen, and the numbers are still moving along the beige background.  Fortunately, though the timeline is a one-way path to live, it’s also a slippery time-machine I can travel at will, backwards or forwards.  I used to wish I could plop a day of summer into the middle of winter, just so I could have a break from the snow, and I’d trade that winter day into the summer, so I could have the cold then.  Now I imagine it and it’s true.  I used to long to see into the future.  Now I know seeing into the past is the same thing.  I can imagine I’m 12, wondering what I’d be like when I would be 22, and now I know what I was like at 22, so I can tell the 12-year-old me I would end up happy.  I can find the girl of 15 who thought life was pointless and tell her to keep living because the pointlessness won’t matter to the girl who’s 35.

Then there’s the elusive girl who was 18, who thought she was crazy when none of her roommates or new friends at college seemed to understand how her mind worked.  Are you crazy if you can still ask if you’re crazy?  We were not crazy.  We were lonely.  How lonely we are until we discover that understanding ourselves will suffice.

I like aging.  I’m aiming for 100.  It’s very small and far away, but I can just imagine the time-traveling I can do once I’m there.

3 Responses to The Age Timeline

  • I can’t tell you how much i loved that or how it touched me! i’m not sure why really but it felt personal to me, so thank you!

  • Elizabeth ~ Thanks for letting me know. Perhaps we have similar mind quirks. Here’s hoping.
    All best,
    Caragh

  • Merhaba;Seyir terasının kapalı bf6lfcmleri de olduğundan dolayı bebekle e7ıkmakta her hangi bir sorun teşkil etmez. Ama ae7ık bf6lfcmlerinde de dolaşmak isetrseniz; bazen rfczgarlı olabiliyor. Bu durumu gf6z f6nfcne alarak bebeği rfczgardan etkilenmeyecek şekilde giydirmek iyi olur. Ayrıca bebek arabasını tercih ederseniz daha iyi, bf6ylece bebek arabasının rfczgarlığından (şeffaf koruyucu f6rtfc) da faydalanabilirsiniz.Saygılarımla..GD Star Ratingloading…

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