{"id":1691,"date":"2012-03-26T13:50:23","date_gmt":"2012-03-26T17:50:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.old.caraghobrien.com\/book\/?p=1691"},"modified":"2012-03-26T13:50:23","modified_gmt":"2012-03-26T17:50:23","slug":"losing-tempers-mine-and-hers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/writing\/losing-tempers-mine-and-hers\/","title":{"rendered":"Losing Tempers, Mine and Hers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-1693\" title=\"Steam\" src=\"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/Steam.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"175\" height=\"175\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/Steam.jpg 175w, https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/Steam-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 175px) 100vw, 175px\" \/>I\u2019m revising a scene today in which Gaia loses her temper.\u00a0 I don\u2019t like losing my temper.\u00a0 It makes me unjust and unable to think clearly.\u00a0 I fight not to say hurtful things I\u2019ll regret and yet I also want to be honest about my rage.\u00a0 In the moment, I want to lash out, and since only people I love have the ability to truly make me furious, they\u2019re my targets.<\/p>\n<p>Since I don\u2019t like myself when I\u2019m in a flare of anger, I don\u2019t like Gaia that way, either.\u00a0 But you know what?\u00a0 I think it\u2019s important to have a character who blows it sometimes, and not just with nice, tidy, honest mistakes that can be fixed later.\u00a0 She can make emotional mistakes, too, and feel icky and ashamed afterward.\u00a0 She can struggle with apology, with the strained distance that follows a fight, and with the ensuing loneliness that\u2019s her own fault.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s risky having a beloved character demonstrate unadmirable qualities.\u00a0 You\u2019re trusting that readers will understand her and forgive her, but they might be turned off instead, or think an outburst isn\u2019t consistent with her character.\u00a0 It helps if her feelings are so recognizable that we can see ourselves in her, and understand why her circumstances would trigger an extreme reaction.\u00a0 There should be underlying pressures that combine with the immediate conflict in the dialogue to push her over the edge.\u00a0 She should think something ugly and unfair, even if she manages to curb it back somewhat when she speaks, so the reader can feel the war inside her. \u00a0It&#8217;s safer if she loses her temper only about things that matter.<\/p>\n<p>I know it\u2019s fiction, but the feelings of writing are real, so writing about lost tempers is uncomfortable at best.\u00a0 I must say, it helps to know there\u2019s a cookie in the kitchen and I can take a break before I move onto the next scene.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m revising a scene today in which Gaia loses her temper.\u00a0 I don\u2019t like losing my temper.\u00a0 It makes me unjust and unable to think clearly.\u00a0 I fight not to say hurtful things I\u2019ll regret and yet I also want to be honest about my rage.\u00a0 In the moment, I want to lash out, and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,3],"tags":[37],"class_list":["post-1691","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-birthmarked","category-writing","tag-writing-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1691","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1691"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1691\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1696,"href":"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1691\/revisions\/1696"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1691"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1691"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.caraghobrien.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1691"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}